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Sep 15

ใครๆก็อยากเป็นสมชาย  เพราะ สมชายไม่เคยขออะไร  ไม่เคยร้องให้  แมนมากๆ   ใครก็รักสมชายที่…จริงในใจตน ยากจนไม่หวั่นเกรง ด้วยใจอยู่เอง ใครข่มเหงไม่หวาดกลัว ทองในโคลนตม อารมณ์สวยงาม ใครมองใจทราม ไม่เคยตามความไม่ดี…

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              ผมมีความทรงจำดีๆกับคนชื่อ ‘สมชาย’

 

              ไม่ใช่แค่คนเดียวแต่เป็นสมชายที่รักหลายๆคน…

 

              สมชายที่รู้จักคนแรกในชีวิตเป็นเพื่อนรักสมัยมัธยม   เขาใกล้เคียงกับ ‘บัวลอย’ ตัวละครจากเพลงดังของวงคาราบาว เพราะ ความซื่อและรักเพื่อน บ่อยครั้งที่เขาแสดงความเปิ่นเป๋อเด๋อๆด๋าๆอย่างที่เพลงว่าแต่ได้ใจเพื่อนๆเวลาเพื่อนทุกข์ร้อน มีเพียงแต่รูปร่างหน้าตาลักษณะของเขาเท่านั้นที่เขาเหนือกว่าบัวลอยอย่างเทียบกันไม่ได้

 

              เขาเป็นลูกจีน หน้าเรียว ตาหยี   ตัวสูง ผอม เวลาเดินบางทีผมอดคิดถึง ‘ชาลี แชปปลิน’ไม่ได้ เท้าทั้งสองข้างของเขาแบะออกจากกัน ชอบใส่กางเกงนักเรียนยาวเลยหัวเข่าลงมา ดึงถุงเท้าขึ้นสูงจนจะชิดกัน

 

              ผม และ เขา บ้านเราอยู่ทางเดียวกัน ผมปั่นจักรยานเป็นระยะทางกว่า 5 กิโลเมตรเพื่อไปโรงเรียนแต่เขาอยู่ไกลกว่านั้น  เลิกเรียนเราปั่นกลับบ้านพร้อมๆกัน   เขาเป็นคนเก็บตัว สนใจในเรื่องแปลกๆ หนึ่งในนั้นที่ผมไม่มีวันลืมเลยก็คือ เขาคิดจะทำน้ำมันจิ้งเหลน

 

              เขาชอบเล่าเรื่องราวเหล่านี้ให้ผมฟังตั้งแต่ออกจากรั้วโรงเรียนยันทางแยกเข้าซอยบ้านผม นอกจากทำให้ผมหัวเราะได้ทุกๆวันแล้วยังทำให้ผมทราบว่า เขามีความไฝ่ฝันมากมายเหลือเกินที่จะทำ

 

               เสียดายที่เมื่อขึ้นมหาวิทยาลัยเราต่างก็แยกย้าย และ มาทราบข่าวภายหลังเมื่อหลายปีก่อน เขาตาย  ตายขณะที่อายุแค่ 20 ต้นๆ  เหลือแต่ชื่อ ‘สมชาย’ที่ผมจะไม่มีวันลืมเขาได้…

 

              สมชายต่อมาเป็นครูของผมเอง

 

              ครูสมชายสอนวิชาฟิสิกส์ช่วงม.4  รูปร่างของครูเป็นคนสันทัด ผิวขาวชอบตัดผมเกรียน  พูดเสียงดังกังวานแต่ไมชัด  นักเรียกชอบแกเพราะแกสอนโดยวิธีเปรียบเปรยได้เก่งมาก เป็นครูในไม่กี่คนที่ทำให้วิชาที่น่าเบื่อของเด็กๆได้หัวเราะท้องคัดท้องแข็ง

 

               ผมจำได้แม่น ตัวอย่างที่แกชอบยกมาเปรียบเทียบคือ เรื่องของการหัดขี่จักรยาน ไม่ว่าเรื่องราวใดๆ เวลาที่แกพูดถึงแรงโน้มถ่วงของโลก ตามทฤษฎีของเซอร์ไอแซคนิวตัน หรือเรื่องอื่นๆ  แกจะดัดแปลงเรื่องหัดขี่จักรยานสอนเราได้เสมอ

 

               เราจึงตั้งชื่อให้ครูสมชายว่าเป็น ‘ครูกระจั๊กๆ’ ตามตัวอย่างที่แกชอบยกตลอดเวลา

 

                เมื่อเข้าเรียนมหาวิทยาลัย ปี 1 ถึงปี 4 ผ่านพบเพื่อนต่างเมเจอร์ต่างคณะก็มากมาย แต่ผมไม่เคยเจอหรือมีเพื่อน หรือ  ครูชื่อสมชายอีกเลย    มีแต่สมชายปลอมๆที่อิงกระแสสมชายกล้าหาญ เพลงของอัสนี-วสันต์ที่โด่งดังมากยุคนั้น

 

               ใครๆก็อยากเป็นสมชาย  เพราะ สมชายไม่เคยขออะไร  ไม่เคยร้องให้  แมนมากๆ   ใครก็รักสมชายที่…จริงในใจตน ยากจนไม่หวั่นเกรง ด้วยใจอยู่เอง ใครข่มเหงไม่หวาดกลัว ทองในโคลนตม อารมณ์สวยงาม ใครมองใจทราม ไม่เคยตามความไม่ดี…

 

               เมาๆทีไรเราก็แอบอ้างเป็นสมชาย แหกปากร้องแล้วจิ้มนิ้วชี้มาที่อกของตัวเอง… นี่สิคนเก่ง คนเกรงไม่สบตา เหนือกว่าคนบ้า เดินวนอยู่บนฟ้า เดินวนอยู่บนฟ้า…บนฟ๊า บนฟ๊า  จนจะขาดใจกันข้างนึง

 

                จากนั้นชีวิตผมก็พัวพันกับสมชายในรูปแบบอื่นอีก  อาทิ สบู่รักษาสิว ดร.สมชาย  ที่เวลาไปซื้อ..ที่ร้านสหกรณ์ใต้ถุนหอพักในมอ.ต้องเลือกยามวิกาลเกือบๆจะปิดร้านเพราะ อายมากที่เป็นสิว

 

                ชีวิตช่วงนั้นไม่เฉพาะผม กลุ่มเพื่อนๆเราต่างขาดดร.สมชายไม่ได้  ไม่เช่นนั้นเพื่อนหญิงไม่คบเพราะมันไปหน่อย …อืมม์ไม่หน่อยซิ มันมากเลยล่ะ

 

                สมชายหายไปจากชีวิตผมไม่นาน

 

                เมื่อผมได้งานหลังเรียนจบ ผมก็กลับมามีเพื่อนชื่อสมชายอีกครั้ง  สมชายเขาเป็นคนตัวเล็กๆ น่ารัก ติ๋มๆแรกทีเดียวเราอยู่กันคนละกลุ่ม  ตามประสาของเด็กที่จบจากนอก  เอ่อ…มหา’ลัย บ้านนอกอย่างผม  กับ  กลุ่มเพื่อนที่ทำงานซึ่งจบจากมหา’ลัยดังชั้นนำของประเทศอย่างธรรมศาสตร์อย่างเขา มีอาการหมั่นไส้เล็กน้อยแต่สุดท้ายเราก็เข้ากันได้ดี

 

                สมชายลาออกจากงานที่เดียวกับผม เลือกไปเติบโตในเส้นทางใหม่ที่เขาเลือก เราห่างกันไม่ได้เจอกันนานมากแล้ว  ครั้งสุดท้ายเมื่อหลายปีก่อน ผมเห็นรูปเขาลงในหนังสือพิมพ์ หน้าใสๆเล็กๆของเขามีเรียวหนวดสีดำเป็นเส้นอยู่เหนือริมฝีปาก เขาดูสมชายมากขึ้นอย่างบอกไม่ถูก…

 

               ไล่เลี่ยกันกับสมชายตัวเล็ก ผมมีโอกาสได้รู้จัก ดร.สมชาย ตัวจริงแต่ไม่ใช่ดร.รักษาสิว เป็นดร.สมชายที่เป็นนักวิชาการที่โด่งดังมากๆเมื่อ 10 กว่าปีก่อนมาถึงวันนี้  ตอนนั้นแกได้รับเชิญจากออฟฟิศให้มาสอนหนังสือแก่พวกเราที่เป็นเด็กเพิ่งจบมาให้เรียนรู้โลกของธุรกิจ เศรษฐศาสตร์ของจริง

 

               ผมและเพื่อนร่วมรุ่นเป็นโล้เป็นพาย มีพื้นฐานความรู้ที่แข็งแรงก็เป็นส่วนหนึ่งที่อาจารย์สมชายเปลืองน้ำลายสอนมา  ด้วยความรู้ที่หลากหลายทั้งรัฐศาสตร์ เศรษฐศาสตร์ และอื่นๆ ทำให้เราเชื่อกันว่า ไม่มีอะไรในโลกนี้ที่ดร.สมชายจะไม่รู้

 

               เรื่องสิวๆไปจนถึงเรื่องกระสวยอวกาศ  อกหัก รักคุด ถามดร.สมชายซิแก…ไม่ผิดหวัง

 

               สมชาย ครูสมชาย สมชายกล้าหาญ ดร.สมชาย(สิว) สมชายเพื่อน ดร.สมชาย(ติว) ทั้งหมดล้วนแต่เป็นสมชายแห่งความทรงจำ(ที่ดีงาม)ที่ชั่วชีวิตผมไม่อาจลืม เลือน…

 

               ตอนนี้ชีวิตวกวนมาให้ผมต้องมาเจอกับคนชื่อสมชายอีกครั้ง ทว่า เป็น(ว่าที่)นายกฯสมชายที่ไม่อยากจดจำเลยจริงๆ….ให้ตาย!

 

                                             ////////////////



  

เรื่องบางเรื่องของสมชาย:

• สมชาย คือชื่อมงคลมีมากพอๆกับ สมหญิง

• สมชาย เทียบเท่ากับ จอห์น ของฝรั่ง

• ดร.สมชาย รักษาสิวได้เก่งกว่า ดร.มนตรี?

• กูเกิ้ลเก็บรายละเอียดรายการของ สมชาย ไว้ถึง 2.4 ล้านรายการ ทิ้งคู่แข่งสมศักดิ์ที่มีเพียง 1.26 รายการเท่านั้น

6,649 Responses to “‘สมชาย’ที่รักและรู้จัก…”

  1. aprilmyhomes Says:

    อะ อะ อะ อย่าบอกนะว่าเป็นเพื่อนก๊ะสมชาย คนนี้ ไม่มั้งไม่น่าช่าย ไม่เชื่อ ไม่จริง ช่ายมั๊ยคะ ???? 555555+…… วันนี้เพิ่งส่งหนังสือไปให้คะ ส่งช้าเพราะรอเมลล์

  2. showshow Says:

    สวัสดีครับคุณรีย์…ไม่อยากรู้จักครับสมชายคนนี้5555//รออยู่นะครับมาเมื่อไหร่ก็จะส่งกลับให้ทันที เอ..หรือ ว่า กักไว้ซักพักดี:)

  3. shikamaru Says:

    ตอนละอ่อนไม่ค่อยมัน เลยไม่รู้จักท่านดร.คะ

    แปลกแต่จริงมีเพือน และคนรู้จัก ชื่อ สมชายน้อยมาก

    แต่ บอย ฮ้า นี่ พอมีคะ

  4. shikamaru Says:

    ขอต่ออีกหน่อย มีความรู้สีกว่า คุณสมชายท่าน สุดท้าย

    จะนิ่มนอกโหดใน นะคะจารย์

  5. showshow Says:

    สวัสดีครับเจ้าป้า…เข้าใจตั้งนิยามนะครับ นิ่มนอกโหดใน เห็นภาพเลยล่ะ:)

  6. gibsii Says:

    ไม่เคยมีเพื่อนชื่อสมชายเลยค่ะ แย่จัง

  7. showshow Says:

    เชื่อว่าคงต้องรู้จักเข้าสักวันนะครับน้องกิ๊บ:)

  8. nany Says:

    ไม่เคยรู้จัก คนชื่อสมชาย สักคนคะ
    แล้วก็ไม่อยากจะรู้จักเลยสักนิด
    แต่ตอนนี้ก็อยู่ในวงโคจรแร่ะ ..ถึงจะไม่รู้จักเป็นการส่วนตัวก็เธอ (นายยกคนใหม่)

  9. ดิเรก Says:

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    ผมจำได้แม่น ตัวอย่างที่แกชอบยกมาเปรียบเทียบคือ เรื่องของการหัดขี่จักรยาน ไม่ว่าเรื่องราวใดๆ เวลาที่แกพูดถึงแรงโน้มถ่วงของโลก ตามทฤษฎีของเซอร์ไอแซคนิวตัน หรือเรื่องอื่นๆ แกจะดัดแปลงเรื่องหัดขี่จักรยานสอนเราได้เสมอ
    เราจึงตั้งชื่อให้ครูสมชายว่าเป็น ‘ครูกระจั๊กๆ’ ตามตัวอย่างที่แกชอบยกตลอดเวลา”

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